In some alternate universe,

I am sitting in a wheat field, all by myself, playing the guitar.

The colours will return.

Why do You love me.

I can try, I can fail.
I can struggle, sometimes I can prevail.
I am good at losing it, but still I find;
You say I'm always on Your mind.

I'll be real; I can pretend.
To begin with, I never know where to end.
I can raise my fist in the air, and I can fight.
I can run, and jump, and I can dream I can fly...

But without regard of who I am, what I can do.
Regardless of who I'll become, what I'm trying to prove.
You look beyond the shallow pools, and into the deep.
You know the ocean in me.

Who am I, that You are mindful of me?
To be someone who You know personally?
Who am I, that You would dare to love me?
Why do You love me?
Why do You love me?

Who am I, that You are mindful of me?
To be someone who You know personally?
Who am I, that You would dare to love me?
How do You love me?
How do You love me?

And why do You love me?
Why do You love me?
'Cause how do You love me?
How do You love me?
How can You love me?
How can You love me?
Why do You love me?
You do, You love me.
You Love me.

The Truth? Choose Dare.

Still can't explain.

Eleven Random Things.

There are five rules:

1 // Post these rules.
2 // Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.
3 // Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
4 // Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5 // Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you've tagged them.


Eleven random things:
1 // I am drinking tea.
2 // I am borderline in love with honeycomb crunch biscuits.
3 // I have one brother left out of six who isn't a father yet.
4 // I dream vivid dreams every single night.
5 // I never quite know what to do with my hair... so I do nothing with it. But I think I like it that way.
6 // My cat acts more like an old lady now. I mean, she still gets playful, but it lasts for about 5 minutes instead of 15. That makes me a little sad.
7 // I am so in love with the way Jon Foreman's heart and mind works. And it drives me insane!
8 // I wish I had more time in my days to do the small things I love but can never do.
9 // I have many homes away from home. Like the church building, or Laoag in the Philippines (I've only been there once. But I didn't choose it to be a home, it totally chose me), or Forest Edge.
10 // I dislike bananas extremely.
11 // I really hope I have my turn at helping change the world some day soon.

My answer to Lauren's questions:
1 // What is your youngest memory?
I remember sitting on my dad's knee, in the lounge room some time late at night. I thought it was early hours of the morning type of late, but then again I was probably 2 or maybe even younger, so any time that was dark outside must have seemed that late! But I simply remember sitting on dad's knee, watching the news in the reflection of his glasses as he watched it on the TV, and being so fascinated by it.

2 // What would you never do? Not even for a million dollars.
Oh geez. Many many things! And they're so obvious. Of course I'd never murder, or attempt to kill anyone. But for a less obvious answer, I'd never stand in a pool full of jellyfish.

3 // What is your favorite word?
I really like the word discontented, and I don't even know why. It's not even a happy meaning!

4 // How do your like bed? Messy or made?
I like it made. But, I don't always like being the one to make it...

5 // Would you rather be blind or deaf?
I truthfully, honestly, wholeheartedly could never choose between the two. My sight is precious to me; I couldn't stand to miss out on all His beauty. But my ears... to miss out on the beauty of music, or laughter, or songbirds, or rain on the roof... Never ever.

6 // Cereal or Toast? Why?
I'm normally a toast person, purely because my family are toast people. But I don't mind cereal, depending on what it is of course.

7 // What would your 12 year old self say they wanted to be when they grew up?
They would say they wanted to be a zoologist.

8 // What advice would you give yourself at that age?
I'd say: "I know you knew time goes fast, and I know you knew to make the most of every moment as much as you can. But you still should have made the most of every moment more!"

9 // What are you afraid of?
I'm afraid of the ocean at night, of house fires, and of not making an impact in the world. Oh.... and I am terrified of the idea of losing someone I love.

10 // Winter? Summer? Spring? Autumn? Why?
I love them all for their characteristics. But I'm still a Summer girl at heart. I think a big part of why is for the colours; blue, green, golden, etc. They are so bright, vibrant, and happy. And the atmosphere is so relaxed and at ease with life.

11 // Do you snore?
Well, I haven't heard me!


My Questions to You!
1 // Embarrassing moment?
2 // Silver or Gold?
3 // Tell me about your family?
4 // Childhood dream?
5 // Who is your biggest inspiration in life?
6 // Your favourite quality about yourself?
7 // Your least favourite quality about yourself?
8 // Your favourite sound in the whole world?
9 // Plans for your future? What(Who) would you most like to be?
10 // Where do you go to get away from it all?
11 // Something you wish you could do? A talent or ability?

"You want to know the meaning of life?"

"This world is a hand-me-down. It was given to us by our parents — women and men much like ourselves. Human beings in love, human beings rejected, human beings hungry, restless, apathetic and hopeful: ever-changing, ever-adapting. Yes, the human soul is a bundle of conflicting desires. You want peace but you love excitement. You hate math but you want to graduate. You love your parents but they drive you crazy. Even our hopes are at odds with each other. The rent? The relationship? The career? The vacation? Our dreams rarely line up. It’s messy stuff, but these are the raw materials that life has given you.

You had no choice as to where your journey begins, but the choice is available to you now. You could argue that you didn’t choose to be born, that there are factors of your existence over which you have little or no control. It’s true, these are the contingencies we were born into. Your heart, your bones, your soul — these were given to you. Given to you as a painter is given a canvas and a brush. Given to you as a sculptor is given a block of marble. St Francis of Assisi said that “He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist.” Your artistry? Your craft? You are making a living.

Which is to say that you are the art. Your words, your haircut, your clothes, your actions — these display your unique blend of past and present, desire and lack thereof, insecurity and purpose. You are the painting, and everyday you’re painting yourself and the world around you.
Every moment is a canvas is waiting to come to life. The walls of this planet and the walls of your heart are still available to graffiti artists everywhere. There’s still room for redemptive, honest, hopeful colors. You put your brush to canvas with every decision, with every breath. We are the human race. We are the re-appropriators. But none of us are creating out of nothing. Human creation is always re-appropriation. Trying to put beauty into form.

Tom Morrello once said that “Music is like sausage.” He was killing time on-stage in a club called Hotel Cafe in Hollywood. We were halfway through the encore trying to figure out a cover tune that none of us really knew. It was a mild form of chaos onstage. So as we switched instruments and tried to work it out, Tom told this parable to the patient crowd, “Music is like sausage. You love the final product but sometimes you don’t want to see how it’s made.” It’s one of my favorite stories to tell. I love finding something beautiful within the bizarre. Grace within contingency.* Because after all, that’s what music is. That’s what life is. Re-appropriating the scraps we have at hand in an attempt to create something truly magnificent. Crafting timeless beauty out of our own temporal specific circumstances. My friends who practice yoga have a saying, “Fake it till you make it.” Maybe that’s what humans do best: we make it up as we go along.

You want to know the meaning of life? This is your highest calling: You are called into the dynamic co-creation of the cosmos. This breath is your canvas and your brush. These are the raw materials for your art, for the life you are making. Nothing is off limits. Your backyard, your piano, your paintbrush, your conversation, Rwanda, New Orleans, Iraq, your marriage, your soul. You’re making a living with every step you take. So when you make a living, do not merely make money. Why settle for cash when joy is on the line? You feel a thrill when you dance, when you sing, when you finish your poem; even when you sweep the room you see order pressing back against the chaos. So when you create, never settle for making a living — at least not the way that the world might define that phrase. When you make a living, you are speaking a new world into existence. You are creating grace within the confines, you are co-signing God’s blank checks."

-Jon Foreman.

"Happy 18th Cassie!"

Made for me by my best friend.

Imagine if we all knew.

I have been seventeen years old for 365 days today.
And as the course of life goes, I'm expecting to have been alive for 18 years by midnight.
Maybe I'll be able to logically state that I'm a "big girl" after all?
It is so strange to think I've been alive for 6569 days today.
That makes me feel... I don't know. Human, finite, real.

But I think I like looking at it this way better than just keeping score by the years.
I like counting the days, because to me, it seems to make every day count for something.
Really, I haven't wasted a single day. Because, really, I've been alive for each and every one.
And in each one I have breathed, and I have thought, and I have felt, and I have heard, and I have seen, and I have lived. I can feel like I've wasted a day, but in all truthfulness, nobody can waste their living days.
Because they are just that; they are their living days.
For which they have been alive.

Each and every day we have faced as individuals has shaped us, sculpted us, reformed us and refined us into the beings we are today. Every one of those days have been extremely important, and without them, we could not be who we are.
I wish I saw life as the privilege that it is more often.

It truly is a beautiful thing to be alive - to be alive for so many mornings, afternoons and evenings created by a God who loves you, to be living among so many other uniquely hand-crafted souls that walk this earth, to live in a world shaped and moved by the hopes and dreams of a long legacy of loving hearts and imaginative minds. It's an incredible notion to look around you and see the works of an Almighty God, created from the beginning of time up to this present day, and know He has used you and I to continue creating beauty on this earth.

And as we go about our daily lives, we each add a piece of ourselves to the world we are living in. In our own ways, with our own quirks and our own ideas, bit by bit, we are changing the world. Together.

We keep living life while not often noticing that what we are doing is altering existence for ourselves and for others around us as well as those who are to come. I hope to be more mindful of the importance of being alive.Imagine if we all knew how important our lives are.
I have realized and I have forgotten time and time again, that we are vital to planet earth.
What we say, think, feel, do, believe, creates.
We are vital.
I believe that Side by side, we could change the world.

I was ashamed; You called me beautiful.

Now I'm Yours; You call me beautiful.

Forever, now. Forever.