UP i said :)

I feel kinda good :)
i just finished a personal recount for English, and if you read one of my previous posts titled 'Look Up', you'll know what it's about. so starting tomorrow, i'm putting my idea into practise.
you should too.
Look UP.

i just want a lazy day. that would be nice.

Time to relax. Just kidding.

Must write personal journey narrative for English tomorrow.
Must hand in Aristophanes essay to Drama or i shall die tomorrow.
Must study, study, study. For Maths, Japanese, Science... oh gosh.

BUT - it's ok! things sound like they're taking a new turn :)
i actually have things to be excited for.
Reuben's 'Wakeover' sounds good fun, in the midst of the midyear exams. It'll be like a celebration that we made it, if we actually survive.

The school formal? ...well it's something ok? It could have been MUCH better organised with a MUCH MUCH better theme, but oh well.

the day BEFORE the school formal shall be good :) Steph's Birthday trip to Melby is exciting. Only because we're going ice skating. Oh yes. I'm excited.

Holidays? OOOOOOHH the holidays. *sigh of relief* a holiday is definitely the doctor's diagnosis for me. A girl's camp with the friends = hypothermia, hot chocolates and warm, smokey fire. I hate tents. but oh well.
The second week of the holidays is what i'm reeeally looking forward to. HILLSONG! I have been anxious to go since February. So yeah, been waiting a loooong time for this one. I believe whole-heartedly that something in me is going to change because of Hillsong this year. I can just feel a change coming.

and AFTER the holidays, meaning August... maybe, just maybe, i will be off to Brisbane with Steph to stay with her childhood friends, Debby and Cindy. That would be such a dream come true.

Now, if i just focus on these things constantly, i'll be a happy chappy :)
but first... the story, the essay, the maths, japanese, science studying...aaaand the plays. OH the plays. 4th of June onwards. wish me luck.

Look UP.

I miss being a child.
back when each new day was an adventure.
back when tv cartoons were actually worth getting up early for.
back when the biggest problem in life was not getting invited to a birthday party.
back when life was tall, and we were small.
back when everything was just for fun.

I believe we should bring out the children in us. All we do now is stress, worry, and stress some more, come home from work/school and try to get some sleep so we won't be tired for the stress we have to deal with in the morning.
Life is a big playground, but we seem to have forgotten that somewhere along the line. I want to enjoy everything around me. My Tip for myself and for you, Look Up!

We are so accustomed to looking at our feet, or looking at life at eye level and below. If you look up, you may notice how amazing the sky above you is. Or perhaps you're under a really cool-looking roof. Suddenly, The world seems taller again.

I have vowed alongside Peter Pan to Never Grow Up. Not that i'm planning on being immature about everything, i can be wise. but sometimes i just choose to be naiive.
I just plan to listen, learn, and find joy out of the small insignificant things, like a child. We have the whole world to discover, people.
So... Look UP.

In Order To See A Rainbow, You Must First Endure The Rain.

I'll Run Into Your Arms
Nothing Compares To Your Embrace
Light Of The World
Forever Reign...

These past two months have been... how do i put it, stressful? unpleasant? unbelievably negative? well whatever it was, it was ridiculous. and i hated it.
BUT. there is an upside somewhere along the line. i think.
My Optimism is this:

I'm still alive.

that's stupidly obvious, but hear me out. Everything i went through, is now over. well, basically. It was like travelling through some horrid town, hating every part of it, and now i'm almost through it. Just on the outskirts.
But Everything i went through, is everything i WENT through. Past tense.
Not present tense, and for the love of pasta, not Future tense either.

So yeah, it was hard. it sucked. but I'm still here aren't i? I survived the storm, and i believe i see some blue through these clouds.
So, whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger right? right??

I'm Still here. There's this scripture i love, that talks about going through poop like this. If only i knew where i put my bible D:
But it's in Peter, and it talks about how Gold goes through fire to make it all resplendant and suchlike. Basically it's saying how going through the fire shapes us to be stronger, wiser. "Just as Gold goes through the fire, though you are worth far more than Gold"

So i gotta but my behind in the past, courtesy to Pumba.
And That is exactly what i plan to do. well, you know what i mean. :)

My Beloved.

You're My Beloved
You're My Bride
To Sing Over You Is My Delight
Come Away With Me, My Love

You're Beautiful To Me
So Beautiful To Me

Under My Mercy
Come And Wait
Till We Are Standing Face To Face
I See No Stain On You, My Child

You're Beautiful To Me
So Beautiful To Me

I Sing Over You My Song Of Peace
Cast All Your Cares Down At My Feet
Come And Find Your Rest In Me

I'll Breathe My Life Inside Of You
I'll Bear You Up On Eagle's Wings
And Hide You In The Shadow Of My Strength
I'll Take You To My Quiet Waters
I'll Restore Your Soul
Come Rest In Me
Come Be Made Whole

You're Beautiful To Me
So Beautiful To Me

You're My Beloved
You're My Bride
To Sing Over You Is My Delight
Come Away With Me, My Love

Dreaming of Freedom?

Dance with me in the rain.
Sing with me at the top of your lungs.
Laugh along with me and my lame jokes.
Run away with me to the Bahamas.
Discover with me a secret place.
Come on an adventure with me to find ourselves.
Sweep me off my feet and carry me away from it all.

Hold me as tight as you can, so that i am either safe in your arms, or dead from suffocation. Either one of those will help me forget.

The old has gone...
The new has come...
I Will Not Conform To The Pattern Of This World.
I Will Be Transformed.
I Will... go to sleep now...

Go Away Life.

Okay, so this post is really gonna sound negative. but oh well.
I have this crazy idea that somehow i'm going to enjoy every second of life. I should really wake up from that dream. Ofcourse life is gonna have ups and downs. If there were no downs, how can we determine what 'Ups' really are? I just wish it would stay UP, for like 10 minutes? Please?!
GAH.
My life so far = Midyear Exams, drama essays, english essays, maths tests, remembering another language, daily routined homework, fauvism poster, learning my lines for a play, learning my lines for another play, actually finding where my script IS so i CAN learn my lines, learning a billion songs, music practise. This is just schoolishness. Aside from that,

no sleep, family crowding the house, a family member just passing, and another family member following in their footsteps,

grief,pain, illness, stress, and FRUSTRATION about everything.
yaaaaaaay.
This is where i say, 'Stop the World, i want to get off.'
Truth is, i would prefer to be focussing on all the wonders of life. i'd prefer to be dwelling on my philippines trip coming up. I'd prefer to be able to lay on the soft green grass with blue skies above me, remembering how amazing God really is.
It's horrible seeing people so caught up in working, schooling, studying, and money. They just don't ever look up at the sky. or watch the sun set. or literally smell roses. They don't appreciate the world around us.
And I'm becoming one of those people. Right now is the part where i'd like to say that i'm not going to become on of them, but i'm doubting myself right now. If i look up at the sky, teachers get on my back about paying attention. Even if i smile in class, they suspect i'm not doing work. Because work can't be fun, so why is she smiling?
-____-
I'm just so over this. I might try running away. nah, that would get lonely. I wish i could escape right now...go on vacation, find summer again, be carefree. But we all know that's not going to happen :/
Gotta go. Time to visit the Hospital again :|