I like today but I miss yesterday.

I miss people.
From 10 years ago.
From 5 years ago.
From 1 year ago.
I tend to let go of memories and move on with life on the outside, while inside I remember, I always remember.
I'm doing well with living life to the full, at least I think I am.
I'm happier, most of the time.
I'm confident in what I'm doing this year.
I don't have nearly enough time or freedom anymore, yet I'm not dead which I was convinced I would be last year, if I had no free time.
Holidays now, but I'm not ecstatic about that like I used to be. But don't get me wrong, I'm still grateful. It's still exciting, I just don't even count down anymore.
But I think that's a good thing - It means I'm already doing things I enjoy, therefore I don't need to focus on good things to come.
They just come by themselves.
It's good.

But I still miss people and music and smells and photos and places and feelings and memories and everything else that I miss.
I do hope, along with all the good things going on in my life right now, that some of those old good things can resurface soon. Because in case you haven't already noticed, I miss them.

If His grace is an ocean, We're all sinking.

I wish..

Wishing, wishing, wishing more than anything before,
that i could have somehow, somehow, stopped it from happening.
I wish I could help, I wish I could say something... anything.. To make the hurting go away.
I wish I could trade him for his pain. I can't bare to see him in this silent agony.
I'm so sorry, my wonderful friend. I am praying for you and your family every day.
May the Lord God fill you with peace overflowing.

I left my heart in this place.

Procrastination Sucks.

SO.
I have four exams to study for, a GAT (General Achievement Test) to look forward to, an Art Folio to hand in, a video essay and a self-evaluation sheet to start, a SAC and a paper essay to finish, and what am I doing?
Blogging.

But on the plus side of all this, I've finally got a job. Finally. Meaning it's plausible that I will be going to Japan next year. And tomorrow after my Japanese exam, I'm going down the street to buy some new pairs of jeans. FINALLY. All my current pairs have holes in them. Normally I wouldn't care about the holes, but in this case, they're giant ratty looking things. So yay for new jeans :)
The other definite plus side is that I am filled with peace during this exam-time of year, because my God is incredible.

The not-so-plus side but the kind-of-okay-with-it-because-I'm-doing-something-I-love side, is Alice in Wonderland, this year's School Production. Less than seven weeks to go, and I barely know my lines. Fretting. Fretting. Fretting. What a strange word. Especially after writing it thrice. Anyway - I hate that I'm on every single scene, and that I am literally almost every second line in each scene. But that should be a bit obvious, I mean it is ALICE in Wonderland, after all. But when I think about it, I still love performing. And I do get a lot of joy out of it.

Now, back to studying. Speaking in Japanese, read and write in Hiragana, Katakana as well as Kanji, and drinking from a can of pepsi and a glass of water.
I wanted to be asleep by 10pm, to get a good night's sleep. Not gonna happen.
And blogger, even though I'm the one responsible, I'm blaming you for distracting me from my study.
Pray for me. :P

True motion.

“Love is, as far as I can tell, the most mature response to any situation - the pinnacle of what it means to be truly human. Love is a wrench in the wheels of cause and effect, of reactionary living, of casual imitation. Yes, speed and events are all around us in the information age, but motion - true motion - is rare. Love is the movement. Keep moving."

-Jon Foreman.