'Here', is pretty cool.

My first year of school. Me and my bright red trackies.

I went to my old primary school tonight, to watch a friend's younger brother perform in the Christmas concert. It was so strange to watch from the audience, instead of being on that stage. Especially when they sang "War is Over". It's sung every year, before I went to school there, during, and obviously after.
I remember clearly what it was like to be on that stage with my friends all around me, arms slung over each others' shoulders, swaying back and forth with the music. We'd hear the sound of a siren in the distance, which was Santa Claus in his firetruck. Don't ask why he was in a firetruck; to this day, I still don't know. But we'd hear the siren, and we'd sing as loud as we could out of pure joy and/or excitement.
When they sang the song tonight, they didn't have their arms over each others' shoulders, they didn't sway back and forth, they didn't have Santa come while the song was coming to an end.
But it was still the same song, it was still the same sound of kids' voices being high pitched and slightly out of tune, it was still the same gleam of joy in their eyes. Santa came after the song, by the way. With the siren.

The saddest part for me was realizing that none of these kids knew who I was. Maybe one did, and he was the prep when I was in grade 6. He was the star of the show tonight, the one the whole school looked up to. But it's a pretty sobering experience when you turn up at what you still consider your childhood home, to find it rearranged, to find that after this year there will only be one teacher left that you know, to find that none of the kids remember who you are. They remembered the girl who is in year 7. She was in grade 2 when I was the big kid.
Bloomin' time. Where did it all go?
Thankfully I could spend the rest of the night reminiscing with Ben. He was my grade, we were good friends. Between the two of us and two more, Justin and Steph, we pretty much ran the school.
It's crazy to see the baby of the school you could barely understand, be that leader now.
My old principal was more than right when he said it'd go fast.

OKAY. That's my spiel about the past in primary school.
When I look at the present, I think I'm happy. Perhaps that's because it's the Christmas holidays, perhaps not. But I am capable of doing nothing but reading my falling-to-pieces bible all day, and being fully content.
So I like living. It's a beautiful thing, it really is. I can be reminiscing all I want about what once was, but I'm not wishing I was back there. I can be missing those times, but I'm not wishing those times were these ones now. Those times are gone, and they're meant to be gone. I'm meant to be here now, so here I am.
And when I remember that here is where He is too, here is looking pretty darn good.
He's the one that placed me here, after all.