The art of Sleeping.

I'm having trouble trying to comprehend that my life just keeps going on. I have said this before; I blame time a lot. But really, time has done nothing but tell me the truth of life. It's not really going fast or slow. It just goes. It goes steady, and it doesn't stop for anything or anyone. I've been repeating the song 'Colourblind' by The Art of Sleeping. It just fits me right now. I like when songs do that. But really, since when was I in year 12? Since when did I have to think about University, or a Tafe course or anything outside of being a little kid at school? I thought it was just yesterday I was in grade 5, trying to build a human pyramid with my primary school friends by those 4 tall, pointed trees all standing in a row. I thought it was just last week when I was running down a hill at the old homestead, racing toward a pile of Autumn's fallen leaves with my best friend's hand in mine. I thought it was only a month ago when I was watching the 'big grade 6's' stand in the back row of the school choir singing "And so this is Christmas" on stage at the end-of-year concert. I thought it was last year that I got to meet Batman at Movie world, my biggest crush, just after my 5th birthday.
The memories are so clear still, but that was a different time in history, and it's gone from existence now. Those times will never come back. I was there when they existed, when they were reality. And I am here now in this moment, while they are long gone. I'm still breathing? 3 months until I'm 18? Does that mean I have to grow up?

"Breathing, is nothing
Without You, I'm colourblind..."

One last time.

I still believe we can live forever
You and I, we begin forever now
Forever now, forever
I still believe in us together
You and I, we're here together, now
Together now, forever now
Forever now, forever now
Forever now, forever
Forever...

Water and bones.

Oh, the atmosphere of an oncoming storm... that sound of the rolling thunder... the feeling that stirs inside as strong as the storm that stirs within the clouds.
I love the air that swirls around me as I watch the sky grow dark and grey. And then that first crystal drop of rain falls silently from above. It's astounding to think it came from such a height, having such an honest, effortless free-fall to the earth below. That first drop of rain was formed for the very moment it fell to the ground. It was shaped and shifted to where it needed to be to maintain the everlasting flow of God's will. That rain drop was important. Without it, how would the others know when to fall? But just as the same, if it weren't for the drops that followed, the first rain drop would be a leader to no one.
In the same way, we are all part of a bigger plan. Together, we shape and form the perfect, eternal will of God. We can look to the tallest mountain, and say the peak is the greatest of all. But how would it even reach such a height, if it weren't for the earth that formed its base? We cannot say the brain is better than the rest of the body. Without the body, the brain would be worth nothing. We are all connected, we are all shaped and formed the way we are for a much bigger purpose than just ourselves. If you are looking for your personal worth, don't look at yourself on your own, but rather, as part of a whole, the whole as the reason for life itself. And you will see that you are vital to this life. This is why I am here. This is why you are here. We are not useless.

Tomorrow's Song.

"Grey skies and cloudy eyes, All the world is sympathizing,
All the world feels sorry For the dreamer in your head.
With white lies and alibis and All the world is terrified,
Yeah all the world is worried That the dreamer might be dead.
If today knows no justice, better off staying mal-adjusted.
Sing to me a melody, for the ones that will never win.
Songs of dreamers, in between us, the ones that will never fit in.
If today we don't belong, Let us sing tomorrow's song.
Back before the war began, You and I were children then,
We took our dreams and turned 'em in And traded them for guns.
Everyday becomes a crisis, left to our own devices.
Traded in our dreams to fight these wars that can't be won.

If war is our only song, I refuse to sing along.

Sing to me a melody, for the ones that will never win.
Songs of dreamers, in between us, the ones that will never fit in.
Since today we don't belong, Let us sing tomorrow's song."

Have we lost ourselves?

"I think... if you truly believe that there is a God who created the Universe, then why would you be afraid to ask big questions? Why would you be afraid to love anyone? With Him... there's just, there's nothing... nothing to be afraid of." - Jon Foreman.

Born for the blue skies.

So I haven't written a post for ages. Like, written written. And, you know, I've got time now. JUST KIDDING. It's literally the middle of my exam week. Two down, two to go. My third being a VCE Theatre Studies exam tomorrow morning at 9:30am. And it's 11:42pm right now. That's how good I am with exams.
But exams will not be the point of this post.
Even though the thought of them has been consuming my life lately.
That and the upcoming Christmas-ness.
Oh and my friends leaving for Vietnam in 3 days, nearly 2.
Oh and the Amazing Race for our youth group this Friday night.
Oh and the fact that I'll only have a year to go of school.
Oh and then the whole Community Fun Day our church is having. I'll be either face-painting children, serving elderlies cups of tea with scones and cream, or helping out at the Compassion stand. Or maybe all of them at a different point in the day.
Oh and then there's the carols service that night, where I have to be Mary and Tom has to be Joseph. At least this year, they're not forcing me to be "pregnant". No more Ben-10 helmets gladwrapped around my stomach under my top. Bad memories... This year it will be interesting though. We are actually wheeled on stage as a bunch of mannequins to be set up for a nativity scene, and when the workers setting us up leaves the stage, wouldn't you know it, we come to life. And then singing with a baby-born doll in my arms will be interesting...

But ANYWAY, that's not the point of this post either.

Oh and then there's the whole New year's thing happening after Christmas. No idea what will be going on with that.
Oh but then two days after that, LIT!!!!!! *does happy dance* FINALLY. I will finally be doing the Leader In Training course at Forest Edge. After them asking me to do it for 4 years, and me wishing I could do it for a lot more.
Oh and there is 8 days until Summer! I've already been listening to my Summer albums during Spring though. I was just too excited to wait. Vice Verces and Mylo Xyloto, Switchfoot and Coldplay. But remember, I put it in that order for a reason. *cough* JON FOREMAN. *cough*

And that's not the point of this post either. I don't even know what is anymore.
Oh well, at least I've caught you up with the happenings in my life, Mr. Blog.

I'd say the point of this blog is simply to write that I am simply falling more and more in love with Jesus Christ each new day He brings me. I wouldn't want life any other way. I couldn't imagine life any other way. I am SO glad it isn't another way. He is the way. And that's the point of this blog post. ;)

I think I'll just finish with an image I feel depicts how I'm feeling about doing life with my Saviour.


I feel free.

All that I am, hanging on, all of my world, resting on Your love.

Just like that?

How does life just suddenly... disappear? How does it suddenly leave people without any words of warning? How can someone be here, right in front of your eyes, tangible and breathing, and then just suddenly not exist? We can see footprints left all over this world by those who no longer inhabit it. It's the ripple effect, when a stone is cast into water, but the ripples are seen long after the stone is gone. That's all well and good, but my head is yet to get around the fact that the stone was once here, in my hand, and now it's gone. Just like that. I know I blame it a lot, but time seems to have only ever told everyone the truth about life.

WHAT.

Is it really almost Christmas? Already? Again?!
Far out!

Things like this, like these.

I still really love Spongebob episodes like this.

I want a puppy just like these. They remind me of my old Siberian Husky, Gabrielle.There are a lot of times when I feel like doing this.

I laughed a lot at this.

I laughed a lot at this too.

There cannot be anything more adorable than this.

I would loving doing something like this in my room.I actually thought this was really, really cute.I am craving this today.

I would also like one of these.

And this would be the kind of cup I'd use.

I really, really enjoy this.

And, yes. I still make wishes on these.

"What can you ever really know of other people's souls-
of their temptations, their opportunities, their struggles?
One soul in the whole creation you do know;
and it is the only one whose fate is placed in your hands."

- C.S. Lewis.

Every siren is a symphony, and every tear's a waterfall.

It explains it. If you're going to read this long post, then read it while listening to the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyMhvkC3A84&ob=av2e

It really does explain things. It's like I'm more ready to be alive than ever before.
It's a new chapter in my life now. And how perfect, that this new chapter is the ending of my exams, and the beginning of a new Summer.
One thing has to end for another to begin, and that's what is happening inside me now. I'm not even sure what it is that's ending, but I do know I'm so ready for whatever is about to begin.

I'd rather be a comma, than a full stop.

I'm not going overseas to do good in the world, like my best friends are doing. I had my time last Summer, in the Philippines. And that was incredible, that was perfect timing for me. Now it's their turn. But in the new year coming, I will finally be a camp leader at Forest Edge. Something I've been silently dreaming of since I was 8 years old. It's funny how things come slow, yet when they do come, the timing is even more than perfect.

Before these camps though, I'll have a free, unplanned Summery end of 2011 ahead of me. I know I'll be seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling, doing, experiencing a bunch of crazy wonderfuls. I'm happy, even before exams, I'm happy. I'm more than content. Life's beautiful.

And it's not like I'm expecting things. I'm not, really. I'm aware that there will always be negatives that will try to get me down. But they don't belong to me, I am a child of Christ. I'm separated from the dark. And as long as I keep that fact in my mind, I've got a very bright future ahead of me.

And, okay so I try to not think of things in this light, but I feel like I really do have a chance to change the world. In small ways. I don't think I'd want to be famous. But I think my life will be worth living. It's strange to think how I've just been living in this same house, same town, same country, same everything my whole life. And when I was young, I was so closed off from the world outside of Sale. But when I think about it now, I really have achieved a few of my dreams, already.

I've been overseas! HOW CRAZY IS THAT. Something I never believed I'd get to do. It felt like nothing existed but the east side of Australia. and wow, I was in the Philippines. and when I think about a lot of my friends, I've had connections all over the world. Brittany has been everywhere, for one. She's in Hong Kong now. Hollie was in London and parts of Europe, so was James, being an exchange student in Switzerland, as is another girl who is more of an acquaintance to me... Steph was in America. Ben is from Canada. There are people liky Renny and Steven and Amy from South Africa, Will too. And then those kiwis like Lisa and Brayden... Kirsten was in Japan, Kirby is living in Brazil, Ben lived in Thailand, my mum went to Hawaii... and heaps of my friends from school are about to head to Vietnam.

FAR. OUT.

...Literally haha.

Now that I've rambled on about my realizations, I'm good. I feel like I'm somebody. I feel like, if all these people who have been in my life at some stage have gone far, and I've gone far, we can all keep going further and further. Further than we'll be able to imagine.

Wow.

Feeling pretty ready now. I like that I have a purpose.

So you can hurt, hurt me bad

But still I'll raise the flag.