Fear Shmear.

To be honest, i have a lot of fears.
But i know deeper down than those fears, that i actually have nothing to truly be afraid about.
What is there to be afraid of?
I'm afraid of the ocean at night.
I'm afraid of being caught in a fire.
I'm afraid of jellyfish.
I'm still afraid of looking under my bed at night.

But all of these things really mean nothing. Fears are useless, fears are pointless boundaries we add to our own experiences.
Not that i'm saying i should go swim in the ocean at midnight, start a fire and hug a jellyfish, but there are other fears we carry around, that we rarely like to admit to ourselves.

Fears like being rejected, being alone, being completely wrong about life.
When it comes down to it, our biggest fears are usually fears involving others in our lives.
My biggest fear is that someone i love will die. I know it's inevitable, i know it's also likely to happen to someone i know as much as anyone else.
But it fills me with dread to think of that happening. Everyone dies, but i'd prefer it if i died first, so i wouldn't have to live with their death.
That's a little selfish there, but oh well.

But apart from that fear, i actually don't have anything else to worry about. I actually don't have any fears of myself that i should be afraid of, apart from hurting another.
Most self-based fears are about death.
But in all honesty, i really don't fear dying. I wouldn't mind it, actually, i believe i'll be in a much better place than i am now.
But while i'm here, i want to make the absolute most of it.
I could fear pain, but again, that's really only the sensation of being uncomfortable, of something hurting. Pain is kind of worrying i guess, but being fully honest with ourselves, we'd end up agreeing that pain is just another worry because we wonder what will happen if it's unbearable. That we could die from it, but i don't fear death.
Wow, i'm rambling again. I shouldn't ramble so much.

Basically, i just had the thought that i need not fear about what could happen to me. I don't care what happens to me.
I've got a purpose, and i know true love. So i'm set, pretty much.
I realise i only really want to stay alive for everyone around me. My life is dedicated completely to Jesus Christ, but i am living to help others.
Tonight, i'm looking under my bed.