You're still the only one.

Where do we start
When the lights go out
When the passion flows
Where do we start?

Whats left to say
When our tongues are tied
When the words that lied
Still linger on

When your defenses come down
Then I see

you still shine like the sun
Brighter than anyone
Yeah you shine like the sun
You're still the only one

Easy Living, Won't You Let Me Down.

It was a beautiful let down
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful let down
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
Until I found out...
That i don't belong here.

I want you to always feel you're amazing.

To all the people out there who 'hates life':
Grow Up.

That sounds harsh, doesn't it?
Still, show some common sense.

How can you know what is bad if you say nothing's ever good?
How can you determine what bad even is, if there is no alternative?
The only reason you think you hate life is because you're focusing on the negative things.
You people say how nothing is ever good in living, News Flash: Life is gunna hurt sometimes.
But, not all the time.
You may think nothing goes right for you, but really, who's fault is that?

You constantly have your eyes downcast. So how the hillbilly do you expect to see the sunshine?!
Try looking for the positives. There is so much beauty in this world, and most often they are the simple things most people walk by. look around you. see how blessed you are to even be alive.

You know what's ironic?
High-class citizens are more depressed than humans who are victims of horrendous circumstances in lesser fortunate countries.
Who has better lives out of the two?
Someone who has everything they could ever want in life has severe depression, while another who was abducted as a child and turned into a sex slave turns out to be one of the most joyful people alive.
Maybe, just maybe, we have it too good.

Switchfoot's song "The Shadow Proves The Sunshine" says it all.

Just, seriously. Be grateful okay? We are all far too fortunate nowadays.

Silly suicidal people are selfish enough to take their own lives, of which they're ungrateful for, while others are barely surviving, who have an ambition of just living past 30.
At the VERY LEAST, become an organ donor? lol.

So, now that you all realise that your life is precious and you are blessed, i want you to also realise that you have an amazing gift that was given to you so that you may share it with the world.
You all have been graced with amazing talents; talents, that you should embrace enthusiastically and share wholeheartedly.
I believe every human on this Earth was, is, and will be born because they have a specific purpose to fulfill in order to make the world a better place.
You have the very real potential to change the world. You each have your own calling in life, and only YOU can achieve what you were created for.

That's what i believe, anyway. :)

So don't ever think you aren't worth anything. You are the only you on the planet; you are priceless.

Let's make it last forever

Somehow everything's gonna fall right into place
If we only had a way to make it all fall faster everyday
If only time flew like a dove
Well God, make it fly faster than I'm falling in love

This time we're not giving up
Let's make it last forever
Screaming "hallelujah"
We'll make it last forever

Holding onto patience wearing thin
I can't force these eyes to see the end
If only time flew like a dove
We could watch it fly and just keep looking up

This time we're not giving up
Let's make it last forever
Screaming "hallelujah"
We'll make it last forever

And we've got time on our hands...

-Hallelujah, Paramore

Ohaiyou Gosaimasu...or not?

Referring one of my previous posts titled Ohaiyou Gosaimasu, I thought things couldn't get more confusing.
But they did.

Dad just told me about the other offers he is contemplating.
Instead of going to Japan for a year, then to Brisbane...
We may be going to Brisbane for a year first, then to Papa New Guinea. Wow.
And THEN, after a year in Papa New Guinea, we would move to Italy or Singapore.


BLANK BLANK BLANK BLANK BLANK.


I don't even know how i should react to this.
Still, i feel doubtful that we'd actually go, Mum's feelings are mutual.
But Dad was saying how he would like a change. That he's contemplating it. And, like i said, he has never before brought this up, even though apparently he gets these offers all the time.
He's clearly looking into it.
I'm clearly confused on how to think, how to feel, what to say...

Any thoughts? Please tell me. -.-

All Will Be Made Well.

Living is simple
It's gravity
Gravity isn't so hard
Living is simple
it's entropy
Entropy, falling apart
I'm falling apart again

Living is simple
And breathing is easy
it's easy to do
Living is simple
And losing is easy
I'm losing my cool
I'm losing my cool again

All will be made well
Will be made well
Will be made well
Will be well

Is this fiction?
Is this fiction?
Hope has given himself to the worst
Is this fiction or divine comedy
Where the last of the last finish first
Living is simple

icanhascheezburger.com

You Give Me Hope

Sweep me away,
Sweep me away with your love
Where nothing else matters...

What I Believe.

People have their own beliefs on life, on living, on customs, culture, religion. We are all entitled to our own belief.
What i believe isn't a religion, it's a relationship, a reality for me.
I try my best to respect everyone's beliefs by whatever means necessary, but i will always believe what i believe now.
I believe there is a God. I believe there is only one, the one true God.
I believe In Jesus Christ, and i believe he lives within me today.

I know facts and figures are a big part of proof of any existance in life, and although some can think of 'contradictions' to the Bible, i believe otherwise, and i also believe i don't necessarily need any facts for that.
The 5 senses, see, taste, hear, smell, touch, are what we use all day everyday, every second of our lives. But what about a sixth sense? I'm not talking about some ghost-sensing thing, but what about our feelings?
We all feel some things that we can't hear or see or smell or taste or touch.
We feel things in our heart, and if someone were to come up to us and tell us these facts and figures and show us 'evidence' that we don't feel what we are feeling, we would know better.
Even if the facts sound convincing, we know we feel it, because, well, because we can feel it.
Others cannot feel what you feel, only you can.
Just like this, I know that i have felt the love of God.
I can't explain how it feels to know that i am deeply loved by God, but i know, more than a fact, that i feel it, and that it is nothing else but His wonderful love.

This is what i believe, and you can believe otherwise, that's totally fine.
But i wouldn't be able to live without the love i feel.
I feel indescribably complete, full of infinite joy.
Nothing in this world can make me feel that way, no circumstance around me, no chemical in my body, no insanity of any kind.
It's God.

I may not know everything about being a Christian or be able to quote the Bible back to front, but i know i don't need to. It's not about rules and regulations, it's about personally knowing Jesus Christ, and the amazing love he has for us.
No one can convince me of otherwise, and although you might think i'm crazy, naiive, or just misguided, i believe wholeheartedly, it is nowhere near being delusional.
What i have felt is indescribable, and could not possibly exist without a God.
And now that i have felt his love, i couldn never go a day without it.

To everyone who isn't a Christian, please don't think i look down on you or think i'm better than you. It's NOTHING like that. I just think differently when it comes to Jesus Christ. That's the only difference.
I'm not trying to force anyone, i may give invitations to come with me to church, or to youth events. But that's an invitation, that anyone can reject or accept.
It's not some sort of brain-washing, going to church won't mean you will be brain-washed into believing in a god, you will always have your own beliefs, nobody can change that, and nobody ever should try, that's ridiculous.
Christianity is just a way of life, like any other culture or religion, though it is very different from religion. It's a relationship, that's all.

And knowing Jesus Christ has brought a permanent sunshine into my life. It makes me feel unbelievable joy.
I'm never thinking badly of people who aren't Christian, i'm human too. We are still all equal.
I just love Jesus Christ :)

No Reason To Hide

We've got nothing to lose
We've got no reason to hide
We've got the answer inside of us
It's time we took our disguises off

You're alive & we are free
You are Everything, Everything we need.

Nothing can separate us
Nothing can come between us
Nothing can separate us now

--Never Forget, Only Dead Fish Swim With The Stream--

'So the grand oaks grow that once were acorns; So the grand deeds, too, that once were only dreams.'

Brrr..

Winter is cold.
Yep.
It's true. Shocking, isn't it?

Anyone who knows me already knows how much i LOVE Summer, and also HATE winter.
But tonight i'm staying in my positive mood, no matter what.
Just a forewarning; If you're about to tell me some bad news, Don't.
Shutup and don't tell me. No hard feelings :). Just wanna stay happy.
So this is my list of the things i like about winter, listed in no particular order:

#1 - Herbal Tea. - This is actually the first thing i could think of. I just reeeally enjoy my green tea & mangoes drink, and my camomile tea, and strawberries, raspberries and cranberries tea, and the mango with strawberries tea, and to finish the list, just plain, delicious green tea.
#2 - Nights spent wrapped up in my doona watching Chick Flicks with a hot cup of herbal tea (see #1 above). There's just something about chick flicks on cold winter nights, that make me appreciate being a girl. I wouldn't say i'm completely girly, but i'm not a tomboy either. I like to think that i'm balanced ;).
#3 - Hot showers, filling the bathroom with steam and singing at the top of my lungs for an hour. Unfortunately it sucks when you know you have to end the warmth and step out into the freezing cold... but it doesn't last long. I wrap up in my dressing gown and dry my hair at the old heater in the hallway.
#4 - Snow - Not that it ever, EVER snows in Sale, or that i ever go anywhere where there's snow, but the one time i DID, i really loved it. I could really get into skiing as a serious career :P
#5 - The beauty of it all. I love how the tree skeletons look pasted against a grey-blue sky, or the glistening roads that shine from the rain. It's slightly depressing, yet in a way it's beautiful. But then again there is beauty in every season.
#6 - Scarves, Gloves, Bed Socks & Leg Warmers. What's there to say? I love 'em.
#7 - the fact that every winter for almost four years in a row now, i get to go to Hillsong, Sydney for a week. It's the most amazing concert/conference i have ever even heard of. My times spent at Hillsong have been some of the best experiences of my life. Although, that's not saying much. I haven't done much in my lifetime... yet.
#8 - Counting down the days 'til Spring. That's kinda contradictory, but oh well. It's fun. We talk about our daydreams of blue skies and green grass, birds singing, flowers blooming, the sun shining once more. And if we're really daring, we start counting down the days 'til Summer.

So there you go, there's more to like about Winter than i thought.
I mean it's definitely not my favourite time of year, but It's not as bad as i always think it is. I've survived Sixteen winters, i can survive this one too.

Love is Waiting

In the autumn on the ground
Between the traffic and the ordinary sound
I am thinking signs and seasons while a north wind blows through
I watch as lovers pass me by
Walking stories, who's and how's and why's
Musing lazily on Love, Pondering You.

I'll give it time, give it space
And be still for a spell
When it's time to walk that way
We wanna walk it well

I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting 'til we're ready, 'til it's right
Lost is waiting...

It's my caution, not the cold
There's no other hand that i would rather hold
The climate changes
I'm singing for the strangers
About You.

Don't keep time, slow the pace
Honey hold on if you can
The bets are getting surer now
That You're My Man

I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting 'til we're ready, 'til it's right

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name
I could live a lifetemis with you and then do it all again
And like i can't force the sun to rise or hasten Summer's start
Neither should i rush my way
Into Your heart...

I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting 'til we're ready, 'til it's right.
I'll be waiting for you baby
I'll be holding back the darkest night
Love is waiting 'til we're ready, 'til it's right.

Love Is Waiting...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bTjDace9nY
(the link didn't work. Oh well.)

Stephanie Louise.

How many times have i tried to explain my thoughts about you via paper, phone or computer?
countless, i swear.
But it's only because every time i get thinking about how much i appreciate you, i feel like i have to let you know, just in case i haven't before.
Even though i have tried to, many many times, and i just repeat myself so you're probably quite sick of it by now.
but ANYWAY.

More than half of my life has been spent with you by my side. throughout that time we've been through more than anyone could ever imagine. from the highs to the lows, we've experienced so much together, and i wouldn't change a single second we have shared.
You were the reason i loved school as a kid.
You were the cause for my excitement over weekends.
You made everything so much brighter, i honestly cannot comprehend my life without you.

What we have has to be more than just a label of 'best friends'.
I genuinely believe we are conjoined twins who were separated at birth.

You're the identical opposite of me. (that makes no sense, but it's true)
And, although i hate having everything in common with you, i love it at the same time.
What's worse is that i know you hate it too.
Which makes us even more alike. GAH.

We are not ordinary best friends, i know this for a fact. We're not better than any other best friends, but we are different from that.
Just the fact that we had so many people come along and try to separate us from being friends is hard enough. But we always, always, always stuck together. And it wasn't even hard.
So much for Mrs. Lambourne's "You will both go your separate ways and no longer be friends once in highschool" lecture.

I had this theory as a little kid that everyone had an exact double, who was also the opposite of them, living somewhere else in the world. I think that theory proves to be true, or at least for me when it comes to you.

No matter what, i'm not letting you go. EVER.
It's just not gunna happen.

*That day in 2004 at the Homestead with the big hills in Autumn, we made a friendship pact behind the giant shady tree, that we'd always be best friends.

- 6 years later, nothing has changed, and i know in my heart that it never will.

Even though our circumstances may be different, i still cherish your friendship as much as ever, if not more.

I have so many memories with you.
*We made up our own language in grade two. We didn't understand each other, but yet we did at the same time.
*We used to pretend to be lions and panthers sleeping high in the tree behind the pump shed and the water tower. I used to tell you i was a black panther and my eyes were glow-in-the-dark.
*We made a house out of those wheely brown furry walls at the old church building one day and sat inside it drinking cans of creaming soda, thinking we were awesome.
*We made up a song that i still remember the start to, and used tennis rackets as guitars and performed it in front of the grade 6's in a competition. Taylah danced, only cus we secretly didn't want her to sing :S
*We collected "bobbly-head animals and created a town that spread out from your bedroom to the kitchen.
*We were afraid of your china doll, your furbie toy and that plastic rose twirled around your lamp.
*you slept-talked to me about a fish at Forest Edge.
*you slept-walked into your room when i was sleeping there and shoved plastic food into my hands, because you had a dream you were Adro off of the Biggest Loser and you had to go shopping for healthy food.
*You were the only one who stood up for me in 2003 when the whole school turned against me for no apparent reason
*You were beside me when Mr.Hardy called us bullies and catish girls.
*We were the 'mysterious masked twin sisters' with identical masks for the Masquerade ball in grade 2.
*We took photos with James with different proportions, so it looked like we were tiny people riding on a skateboard.
*We kept hopping on the stones in the river in Adelaide, and always looked up just in time to realise that we were a centimetre away from hitting our heads on the bridge.
*We wasted all our film on the cameras at the airport getting to Adelaide on the first day.
*We both had ridiculous crushes in grade 2, i'm not repeating their names.
*You lent me your pink LG phone a few years ago, which i still have somewhere in my house. But if we were to charge it, it would have all the photos of us from Adelaide.
*We recorded 1 second videos of us making some weird noise and then replayed it a thousand times and laughed our heads off.

These were the simplest parts of things we've done together. there are way too many to name even a fraction of what we've done.

Basically, I really REEEALLLLYYY hold you dear in my heart, and i just want you to remember that i'm ALWAYS here for you. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you, you are one of the favourite parts of my life.

Thankyou for everything you have ever done, and Happy Birthday.
I Wouldn't Be Me Without You.
I love you.

Ohaiyou Gosaimasu...?

I've never moved anywhere before.

I've never moved countries...
I've never moved states...
I've never moved towns...
I've never moved house...
I've never even moved bedrooms.

It has always been me, just Cassie, stuck in Sale her whole life, and knows nothing else.

I've had countless friends come and go, stay for a while, only to leave again and forget this town.
But i've always been here.

People have come and gone throughout my whole life, be it teachers, friends, family, pets even.
But i've always been here.

People grow up, people move on, people get a life of their own, and pursue their own dreams.
But not me.
I've always been here.

I'm the one that sees it all happen and watches life pass by.
Sure i've been on holidays, i've been to 4 out of 7 states in Australia, that's not too bad right?
Wrong.
I always have to come back here. To this prison of a town.

Don't get me wrong, Sale is quite a beautiful place. Lakes, Wetlands, gardens galore, even a clocktower.
But it's just depressing being stuck here my whole 16 years, never even moving houses once.
Nevertheless, this is my life, and i'm used to it. These four walls have been my bedroom my whole life, i can't imagine what it'd feel like to move houses and never live in them again.

SO... that's why i was shocked, and still am, at my father's sudden statement.

"How would you feel if we had to move to Japan?"



-blank-



What am i meant to say to that?! It would be amazing, incredible, such a wonderful change, but i wouldn't be able to do it.

"Only for a year though, then we'd come back to Australia, and live in QLD."


-blank-


Seriously. way to completely throw me off-balance, when all i've been thinking about are exams.
Mum highly doubts we'll actually be moving, but Dad got the job offer, and he told me he's thinking about it.
Mum then told me he gets these kinds of offers all the time.
Uh, that's well and good and all, but not once has he ever brought up the issue to me. Which means he may be thinking seriously about it.

IF we did go, we would be leaving at the end of this year.
Goodbye Philippines Mission trip in January.
Goodbye family, Goodbye friends.
Goodbye normal English Language.
Goodbye practically everything i've ever known.

I still don't know what my answer is to that question. I don't have the slightest clue how i'd feel.
I really just don't know what to think anymore, about any of this.

What would i do?

"Stars don't shine unless it's dark
And from the dust a new road starts
So are we now both on that path?
And is home where you leave your heart?

Where do we go now. How do we walk away? "
-Levi McGrath

Red.

give me wings.

I wouldn't dare fall,
unless i knew you would catch me.

I could really use a wish right now.

'Cause it's a Bittersweet Symphony, This 'Life'...
I don't know what to do with myself.
I think about Humanity, Living, Existance... and everything goes blank.
My mind goes into overdrive and just explodes.
I don't know how to respond to the thought of 'Life'.
Whether i should just smile or laugh or scream or cry.
Whether i should speak my mind or not say a word.
Whether i should take on a wise persona and try to educate you on the perils of Living...
Or maybe i should just stop.
Maybe i should just not think about it...
It's like a smile with the shadow of a frown.
I don't know how to be.
I mean, it's simple. easy. Breathe in, Breathe out, do stuff, make stuff happen. think and feel, hope and dream, love and hate, nod and shake, wake up and fall asleep.
And do it all again.
But... is that really it?


If you think about breathing for long enough it becomes harder to do.
So maybe i SHOULD stop thinking about it.
Everything just seems so... surreal. It's amazing.
These words, i'm typing into a computer, people can read, and understand.
I'm pressing buttons with the extremities of my hands, buttons that trigger these letters, that just so happen to appear on the screen in front of me, in front of you.

WOW.
Right now, you're reading my thoughts :S
I think about the strangest things.

I'm quite creeped out right now :)
Better stop typing... i've got to focus on breathing.
Are you still here? Are you still breathing?
Well are you?