I am from.

I am from the wind.
---
As the wind blows and comes and goes
As it is felt and heard but not seen
Such is the uncertain life I live
The seventeen years I've been
---
Yet in the same kind of way the wind could not describe me
So immobile and stagnant
At the place I am expected to call home
---
The place these seventeen years have lived
The place I was born and raised
It changes but it has never changed
The inside changes colour at times
The outside grew up as i did
From green grass and a swingset
To outdoor lounge chairs and cold grey cement
From a great big siberian husky
To a noisy old cat
---
Seventeen years changed at times
But seventeen years always stayed the same
Same town
Same street
Same house and same bedroom
I am living my own memories
My own window like a picture frame
Of my childhood and my present days
---
The wind in my life is the storm in my soul
The cause for unrest within
---
I am uncomfortably comfortable
I am used to my life
And I don't want to be
---
To belong is a paradise felt only in my dreams
Dreams that are blowing through my heart and whistling through my ears
---
I don't know where I am from
Though I know where I've been
And I know where I long to be
I long to be as the wind
Blowing loud and free through this dry and dusty land
---
And when the wind of my soul blows dry in this life
The rest of me awaits apart from this world
Where already I belong.

The little things I love(d) about yesterday and today.

Finishing my 'Book of Dreams' for my Studio Art class.

The fact that it is now the holidays.

Doing the macarena on a tarp covered in detergent.

Turning the macarena into a detergent fight.

Watching videos from youth in '06 & '07.

Having a late-night trip to Coles.

Singing "All the Small Things" by Blink 182 in Russell's car with friends.

Getting scared by speeding cars that are basically out of control.

Getting scared by Pat's face outside the car window.

Singing old songs by Lincoln Park.

Singing a Maroon 5 song to the stars in the beautiful night sky.

Having the sun shining down on my face.

Wearing a floral dress.

Eating fish 'n' chips with my best friend.

Tom's swimming pool.

Having a spontaneous waterfight with friends.

Walking along my street eating 'nerds' lollies while the sun sets.

Pizza for tea.

Having my niece and nephew stay the night.

Blaring the new Switchfoot Album in my bedroom.

Watching Back to the Future with mum.

Packing for Forest Edge.

Magnum Icecream.

Drinking an Irish Latte in bed under the christmas lights.

Owning the whole collection of the Glenbrooke series by Robin Jones Gunn.

Snuggling with my kitten while reading the first book of the series.

Falling asleep to the sound of Jon Foreman's voice singing "Yesterdays".

Waking up in the early hours of the morning with a smile on my face, and not knowing why it's there.

Remembering this blog.

Dear Blogger,

Thanks for just being plain old you. You're just you. You're not trying to be anyone or anything else. You're not some show-off, you're not out to be the biggest and bestest. You're not trying to be some mainstream craze, nor are you acting like you're "so hipster", like almost every other blog-type website seems to be doing. You don't change with the wind or disappear for no reason. You're not a try hard, you're just you.
And you're simple. I like simple. I'm simple too. Haha no just kidding, that is definitely not true.
But thanks for putting up with me over these years. You've helped a whole lot.

So I'm not ready to be a positive blogger yet, note that my most recent posts have been horribly negative. I'm currently typing with a neutral outlook. Which is good, I think.
There are positive things up ahead though, I know it.
Before, it was like not even you would be worthy to hear my heart, nor understand how it felt. How it feels, still.
And I still don't think you are worthy for that. No offence meant, by the way Mr. Blog. I'm just ready to move on now.

So that's it. Not much of an ending. But who needs a fancy sign off. Goodbye.

And this is me.

Not much is fair around here anymore.

I don't want to be here.

I can't take this anymore, I really can't.

So maybe you've realized, mr. Blog, that there doesn't seem to be any 'next time'.
Well, you're right.
The end. The ridiculous, devastating, sanity-draining, heart-breaking end.
Don't ask, ok?
Just don't.

day 5, 6, 7 & the beginning of 8.

Ok so I haven't been able to blog for a while, I'll try to sum it up quickly.
Pauline and Breck's church was tiny. But they had a special service on that day, where a band called... yeah I forget its name. But the band consisted of three middle-aged men who were amazing on guitars as well as vocals.
They had great music.
We then went sightseeing around Adelaide. We went for a long walk around a big lake thing, I took photos of course. Then we found our way into the busiest part of the city and I was on the hunt for more jeans. Because I literally had only one pair, a grey pair that had paint stains on it. It was depressing.
After going through too many stores with everything I wanted but jeans, I reluctantly settled for some cheap ones at JayJays.
I hate going to JayJays, especially on holidays. Anything that reminds me of Sale is bad lol.
So we waited about half an hour for the credit cards to work, but they just didn't. The eftpos machines were down and out. That sucked a lot. But in the end, I got one pair of pants for free because the guy (could not stand his ridiculous nasely voice) 'felt awkward'. But hey, I can't complain, can I?
We then went walkies a bit more, found a boost store because as well as salad, I've been craving fresh juice as well.
We then basically went back to Pauline's, and I did homework. Yay.

Day 6, we headed off from Adelaide on a day with clear blue skies. It was tormenting to be shut inside a car all day while outside was perfect. And while I was staring longingly outside my car window, I noticed a lot of the ground turning to red earthy colours. That got me excited. And the strange thing was, those earthy colours had effect on the lakes there. A lot of lakes we passed were tinges of pink! It was so strange.
We finally arrived in Cowell. It was a small-ish town, but it was beautiful. The caravan park we stayed at was right next to a large bay. We went walking along a jetty at sunset and it was just perfect.

Day 7, we left early again and didn't drive for very long, since mum has been having a really sore back :( Dad's and my job that day was to look after mum in any way possible. We stopped for some brunch at Tumby Bay - a small but perfect town, and sat in a small café directly next to the ocean. Mum needed the backseat, or backseats rather, to lie down, so I hopped in the front the rest of the way to Port Lincoln. That wasn't very long at all.
But Port Lincoln is absolutely beautiful. The caravan park we're staying at is right on the shoreline of Boston Bay. As soon as we arrived, I jumped out of the car with my camera and ran down to the water. There are three different jetties along the edge, and one of them has been taken over entirely by seagulls. I'm serious. They went berserk when I walked along it.
I then set up mum's new fold-out chair that not only folds out, but folds OUT as well. (as in, a lounge chair, with a foot rest and it leans back and everything. Just like that add with the whole "...nice chair.") I relaxed in the sun, reading my book and listening to summer music. Perfect.
The sunset was also perfect, so I took a lot more photos yet again.
Then we had dinner - fresh fish from the seafood capital of Australia - and the salad I made myself :)
It was delicious, and perfect again. I normally dislike fish. Not this time. It seems like where we are heading, you have to like seafood. I don't really. But I've kinda been surrounded by it.
When we stayed in Cowell, I had salt and pepper calamari. And it was actually delicious, so long as I didn't think about what I was eating.
Mum and I watched 'Indescribable' with Loui Giglio, and after that I re-watched 'Furious Love', a DVD documentary thing Tom Munn gave me for my birthday. It's so full on about how far love will go into the darkness. But I love it, so thankyou Tom :)

And now, this is the morning of Day 8!
We're staying another day in Port Lincoln, partly because we want mum to be rested, partly because IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL.
I got to sleep in :D
Well... my sleep-ins are now limited to 8:30am according to my stupid out-of-whack body clock.
Mum and dad have gone for a walk along the bay I think. Well, either way, they're not here in the caravan. It's just me and you, Blogger.
This day will be very relaxed, I'm sure of it. And I'm very glad of that too. I'll most likely be spending it lazing by the bay, maybe even swimming in it? Who knows. I even get to wear shorts and a singlet - or better yet - a summer dress! Because that's the kind of weather it is here, I love it. And it's only going to be getting hotter from now on.
Anyway, I'm off to have some breakfast of whatever I can find in the caravan. Maybe the mangoes are ready? heh :3
Until next time!