You've got wings, but you're scared to fly.

"Hey girl, be yourself now, don't believe what they told you to. Hey girl, be yourself now, your skin's more than a pinup suit. Hey girl, don't conform now, no one else got a soul like you. Hey girl, you're a strong one, but none of us are bulletproof. Deep down there's a hope inside, you've got wings but you're scared to fly... wake up, wake up... Keep looking for the blinding light, keep looking for the reason why, keep looking for the sun to shine, to take you higher and higher."

And she's somebody's baby still.

She yells, "if you were homeless, sure as hell you'd be drunk,
Or high or trying to get there, or begging for junk.
When people don't want you, they just throw you money for beer."

Her name was November, she went by Autumn or Fall.
It was seven long years since the Autumn, when all
Of her nightmares grew fingers and all of her dreams grew a tear.

She's somebody's baby, somebody's baby girl.
She's somebody's baby, somebody's baby girl,
And she's somebody's baby still.

She screams, "Well if you've never gone at it alone,
Well then go ahead, you better throw the first stone.
You got one lonely stoner, waiting to bring to her knees"

She dreams about heaven, remembering hell,
As a nightmare she visits, and knows all too well.
Every now and again, when she's sober, she brushes her teeth.

She's somebody's baby...


Today was her birthday, strangely enough,
When the cops found her body at the foot of the bluff.
The anonymous caller this morning tipped off the police.

They got her I.D from her dental remains,
The same fillings intact, the same nicotine stains.
The birth and the death were both over, with no one to grieve.

She's somebody's baby...

Xin Chau. ♥

I really miss her. I just counted on my fingers that there are 17 days until I get to see her again. I really really really reeeeeaaally cannot wait! Post cards may not be a big deal to you, whoever is reading this, but they are HUGE to me. To have your own name and address listed on a piece of card that will travel across the world with its mission to reach your hands... it makes me feel a little more important in the world. It crossed the oceans and crossed the world and made it to my hands, and to my heart. And it's the familiar handwriting I've grown up with, the way it's written is the same as every other letter or card I've gotten from her. And I love every little flow of the pen, every little dot point about what she's doing, every little smiley face to express how she's feeling and every little spelling mistake makes it even better. I love that she hopes I love the postcard. OF COURSE I DO. OH MY GOSH. How could I not?! I basically, once again, have been reminded of just how important she is.

"And no one needs to know how scared we are tonight..."

"We gotta live like we're dying."

One more added to the Summer soundtrack..

Weird.

Life, why are you so weird? You're just weird. It's weird. I don't know what else to say apart from that... which is weird. Did I just say weird? That's weird. Hmm. Weird, I know. But you know what's really weird? Walking. You use your left foot, you move it and position it with your leg, and then you use your right foot, and move and position that foot with your other leg... and then you just keep doing that in the same order, and you are in a completely different place when you stop. It's weird. They're just feet, but they've been on so many different surfaces, so many different kinds of land - dirt, grass, sand, concrete, gravel, bitumen, mud, rocks, you name it. And then there are the footprints left behind from other feet belonging to other people, those people, with their own stories of where they've been and what they've seen, and where their two feet have walked on this planet we call Earth. It's so weird.
And I'm rambling about feet, I know. But it's yet another example that shows we are all so connected in this world.
The other day I saw a photo of Jon Foreman performing on stage with Taylor Swift. And my thoughts were like this: "I've stood before, beside and behind Jon Foreman, I've held his hand, sang into his microphone, and have been slightly crushed by his weight. My friend Brittany just recently met Taylor swift, gave her a hug and spent a few hours to get to know her. And then Taylor Swift and Jon Foreman are on stage together, singing side by side. And then there's Brittany and I, who know each other well, who were once close friends, who would go everywhere together, hug, high five, walk side by side. And we're on the opposite sides of the world. And this is weird."

That's basically the sum of what happens in the whole world, with everyone knowing someone who knows someone who has met someone that the first person once knew. I know. But that's just one of the many quirks that make up who I am. And I am weird. But really, if we are all descendents from Abraham, since we are the lineage of Christ, then I know someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows someone who knew someone who knew someone who etc.... I don't know, got to walk side by side with Jesus Christ in his human form. We're really all connected. Like our two feet. They may be totally separate parts of the body, but without the other one, we don't function properly. Our feet are still connected.
Feet are weird. This post is weird. I feel so weird. And I'm very tired. Rambling is pretty weird too. I don't know if this post has a purpose. But if you happen to find one, let me know.

Happy Little Things.

The following is a list of little moments I have either thoroughly enjoyed, have thoroughly learnt from, or am thoroughly excited about:

*Waving to my closest friend as she walked home from my house, knowing it would be the last time I saw her until Christmas Eve. It was like seeing someone go off to war, almost. But not in a miserable way, just that you knew something life-changing was going to happen to them. Not necessarily to the world, like the wars were, but to themselves, inside themselves.

*Suddenly becoming closer to friends I already had, and showing me the incredible people I've always known, but never really known. Spending heaps of time with these people has been a lot of fun.

*Not knowing which amazing book to choose from to read, both of which are inspiring just from the blurb on the back cover.

*Having a stripey blue and white hammock in my backyard.

*Falling more and more in love with my Saviour every single day.

*Seeing old friends again, even if for a moment. I still love them so much.

*Talking to friends on a regular basis, unfortunately until 4:30am on several accounts. But I am nocturnal, so most of the time, this is okay.

*Being able to stop and suddenly remember that this is Summer now.

*Having my beloved Vice Verses album played all the time, everywhere I go. Same goes for Xylo Myloto by Coldplay.

*Eating lots and lots and lots of mangoes.

*Realizing how fast my metabolism is, as the scales can go down two kilos just by not eating for a day. I'm not sure if this is a good thing, But it's amusing at the least.

*Being with the younger girls at Youth, and realizing how much I smile when I watch them do all the crazy things I did at their age.

*Participating in IGNITEyouth's Amazing Race, once again, and still loving it. And driving that ridiculous jeep thing through a course, trying not to hit the cones, with poor young children standing in the trailer on the back.

*Talking about Switchfoot and Jon Foreman in general with an old friend who I never see, who actually UNDERSTANDS. The only other person whose love for Switchfoot is close to being as large as mine.

*Rediscovering all the old songs from the 90's and early 00's with friends, and reminiscing on childhood memories that go with the songs.

*Finally, finally, being able to write a song and finish it. I have not been successful in doing that for such a long time, and suddenly the words are coming all over again.

*Being excited for the Community Fun Day tomorrow, being on the Compassion stand, meaning being able to help these kids who are in such desperate places in their lives.

*Being excited to just be a part of the church community I'm in, and being around all these beautiful souls.

*Being excited for the carols after the Fun Day, even if it means I get so much teasing from Russell because I'm Mary again this year, only with a different Joseph. It's actually a fair bit of fun being a mannequin and then coming to life.

*Driving myself to Seaspray beach with Vice Verses as the soundtrack.

*Seeing how long my hair suddenly is, and not knowing what to do with it now it's this long.

*Watching all the old videos my friends and I have recorded over the years and remembering everything like it was only a second ago when it happened.

*Listening to the best of Blink-182 and feeling like a little kid again.

*Suddenly having more inside-jokes about things, something I realized I hadn't had much of lately. I don't know why. But I like them.

*Hanging my head out the window on clear starry nights.

*Having insane dreams every single night. Every, single, night.

*Realizing that my fingernails are probably stronger than I am in general.

*Picking up my cat Kara, and noticing that even for an old, whinging cat, she's still SO CUTE. And also noticing that if she can be that playful and cute even when she's 10 years old, I can still be a child while I'm getting older.

*My seashell bracelet I got from Robe, South Australia.

*Wearing the most comfortable guy's sweatshirt to bed. Like now.

*Waking up in the morning, and suddenly smelling my own perfume still on my wrists. And it still smells really good. :P

*Having board games, card games, outdoor barbecues and good movies become a regular routine with friends I usually never get to see.

*Being excited to pick Steph up from the airport on Christmas Eve, seeing everyone who went to Vietnam, and looking at the Melbourne Christmas lights.

*Having the joy of the Lord in me so often for no reason, that it just makes me even more joyful.

*Having days where everything looks like Summer, sounds like Summer, tastes like Summer, smells like Summer, and feels, in every way, like Summer.

That's all I can think of, right now. But still, that's a pretty long list. Life is still wonderful. It always has been, it's just a matter of me noticing its wonderfulness. I would like to do that more often, please, Cassie.