Thought I belonged,
But I know I don't.
Thought I had love
But it is not enough.
An aching inside, speaking to me.
How could I feel like this,
So aimless.

I've always known this wasn't home.

This day will be proactive.
I will get heaps done.
I'll sort out the shelves in my room.
I'll decorate the christmas tree. (better late than never)
I'll clean out the games room.
I'll actually eat.
I'll finish off gifts i've been making, and start new ones.
(i have no money because i'm actually a hobo, so i make things.)
I will finish writing that song.
I will put piano to it.
I will get rid of this stupid fly buzzing around me.
I will keep learning the acoustic guitar.
I will be happy.

Now every piece of my heart is falling back into place...

adieu

And i won't know.

You could be happy
And i won't know.
But you weren't happy
The day i watched you go.

And all the things
I wish I had not said,
Are playing on loops
'Til it's madness in my head.

Is it too late to remind you
How we were?
But not our last days of silence,
Screaming blur.

Most of what i remember
Makes me sure,
I should have stopped you
From walking out that door.

You could be happy
I hope you are.
You made me happier
Than I'd been by far.

Somehow, everything i own
Smells of you.
And for the tiniest moment,
It's all not true.

Do the things
That you always wanted to,
Without me there to hold you back.
Don't think, Just do.

More than anything,
I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite
Out of the whole world.

dreaming of simple.

When i think about it, living back in the olden days would have been quite lovely.
Really lovely actually.
There are simple things in living that our modern day life forgets.
Sitting peacefully in a swing chair on a porch reading a good book, with a light blanket wrapped around to warm yourself from the slight chill of Autumn.
Or curling up into a cozy arm chair, sipping on tea in front of the fire with family or friends and sharing stories during Winter.
Or spinning around in the daisies and falling onto soft green meadow grass in Spring, simply loving life.
Simply loving life, always.
Back when things were done for passion, for purpose, for fun, for love.
Not to satisfy ones own greed, lust, loneliness and pain.
I'm sure people back then would have experienced all the bad things too.
But they seem to know there are still such things as joy, as peace, as love and compassion and kindness of heart.
Do we remember these things?
I don't even know anymore.

crossroads

and now i don't know where to turn.